Sunday, September 4, 2011

Taking It Day by Day

I left some of you clueless as to what had happened to Cale's Mom.  And while I know that none of my stalkers personally know myself or my family ... somehow you are still all very much a part of our lives.

Lora (Cale's Mom) suffered another major stroke.  I say "another" because this is her 3rd major stroke.  Not counting the many mini ones she's had since her first debilitating one in 2006 ...... just a few months before our wedding.  I will never forget that day.  I was at work when Cale called.  I could hear what he said but I couldn't process it.  I immediately left work and drove down to Wellington to be with my fiance.  I don't know how fast I was going nor do I remember the drive.  The 45 min ride seemed like eternity though.  But when I got there ... it still all seemed like a dream.  There was Lora ... lying on the hospital bed with machines coming out of her.  I said hi and went over to her side.  She could mouth the words (sort of - droopy like) but nothing more than a "mmmmm" came out of her mouth along with a slight head nod.  I wanted to break down and cry.  I just could not come to terms with it.  They then transferred her to St Francis in Wichita where she would receive better care.  And it was there that we found out the hand that Lora was dealt with when she was born....

Anticardiolipin Syndrome.
A disorder that is characterized by excessive clotting of blood, recurrent fetal loss, and a reduction in the number of platelets.  Approximately 2% of the US population has this disorder.  And I strongly am starting to think that at least 1% of the 2 is Lora's family.

We have always heard stories of how Lora's Dad died very young (in his 40's) but nobody really knew why.  He was tall, skinny, and seemingly healthy.  They compared him to my husband.

It is unfortunate that Lora had to have a stroke to find out that her dad, her brother Butch, and herself .... were all dealt the same hand at birth.  And it was not until after Cassius and Christopher did we find out that unfortunately ... Anticardiolipin Syndrome can (and obviously is in their case) hereditary. 
I love my little boys more than anything in this world.  And so does Cale.  But after hearing everything and going through all of this ... we wish we'd known sooner that his syndrome is being passed down the line.  In all honesty ... we would've thought twice about having children.  Cale has been tested for this disease.  And out of the four levels they tested, one of his was slightly elevated.  Lora could never remember to get her medical records released to our family doctor to find out if it was the same level as hers and so Cale was put on Aspirin until more tests are ran and we can compare Lora's results to his.  We are always going to have to constantly check the boys' platelet levels for the rest of their life. 

But you want to know what pisses me off the most?

The medical care my mother-in-law has been receiving has been terrible up until being transferred to Via Christi recently.  She had an impairing stroke in 2006.  Was put on a blood thinner.  She has done fine up until a couple years ago when she was losing blood and had to keep getting transfusions.  She went through a major transfusion about a month ago and her QUACK OF A F'IN DOCTOR took her off her Coumidin (blood thinner).  WTF?!?  She was doing fine.  Yes she had to have a transfusion here and there ... but it was nothing that was slowly killing her like this stroke she just had.  I strongly believe that had he not taken her off the Coumidin ... she never would have had this recent stroke.  I have so many questions for this doctor but I have a feeling that nothing more would come out than a punch to his gut.  I want him to feel what we've felt over the last few days.  I take that back ... I wouldn't wish this pain, this confusion, this helpless feeling, nor this anger on my worst enemy.  Another f'ing piece of my mother-in-law has died.  We will never get that piece back regardless of how extensive rehab is.  And if I could strip this doctor's license away from him myself .... I would.

At this point:  It's hard to say how much Lora will get back.  She still has no feeling on her right side.  She still cannot remember the baby's first name.  Nor other things that we question her about.  And she is still having a hard time speaking.  It's there ... it just won't come out.

Lora is not only the most beautiful person I know ... she is the strongest fighter I have ever met.  She was able to leave critical care today which meant we got to take the boys up to see her.  We explained to Cashie how Nana would be and I'll tell you ... he did soooooo good.  He was scared to hug her in case he hurt her but other than that ... he talked to her like nothing ever happened.  He made sure to bring it up to her that somewhere in her house she has a talking Buzz and Woody and he wants her to find them for him.  Which means that will be the first thing on Nana's priority list once she gets done with rehab in a few months.  She may not walk at rehab or ever again for that matter ... but if her grandson asks for a Buzz that's lost somewhere in her house ... she will slide down her basement stairs and crawl on the floor if she has to so that she can locate Buzz & Woody.

I love that woman.  I wish everyone had the opportunity to know her too.  She makes you want to be a better person.  She's a female version of my husband.  She ornery, quick-witted, and stubborn.  She lights up the room the second she walks in.  And she can have a good laugh at herself (which is one thing I have yet to learn from her).

She's one of my best friends.

Over the next couple of weeks I will be researching, participating, volunteering, and advocating Stroke Awareness.  Stay tuned.

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