Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Facebook Lies

Awhile back, I posted a blog post about how Facebook just wasn’t intended for some people. I stand by this today. And while that post is mainly about the couples who are out there bashing each other and threatening a divorce every other day … there is also another type of person that Facebook wasn’t intended for. The people that update their statuses with lie by omission. Which I have been guilty of…

According to Facebook, this is how I spent my weekend:

This weekend was the best weekend ever. Saturday morning my beautiful boys woke me up with smiles on their faces and wanted to help cook breakfast. After breakfast we drove over to the park and played until we were all worn out. Afterwards, we ate ice cream and then went home to play some games. Later that night, the hubby and I had a quiet date night out and fell back in love all over again. Sunday morning we picked up the boys, came home, and had a dance-athon in the living room. Thank you Lord for giving me such a perfect life.

All of this is pretty much true … but I’m also completely full of shit.

This is how it really went down:
My boys did come in to wake me up. But only one of them was smiling. Evidently the little one dropped kicked the big one in the stomach. So after the apologies, they demanded breakfast while they sat down and watched cartoons. But apparently Mom doesn’t make pancakes quite like Dad so after slaving over the stove … a poptart sufficed.

After breakfast we did go to the park. Well, one of them did. The big one had a soccer game and the little one kept trying to run out on to the field so grandma HAD to miss the soccer game to take the little one over to the park so he’d quit interrupting the game.

Afterwards we did go get ice cream. At first we promised Root Beer Floats … but after a meltdown in the car that we weren’t going to allow them to eat at A&W as well, we decided to go ahead and just pick up the ingredients from Dillons instead of dealing with tantrums inside the restaurant.

But because of the inappropriate behavior the entire way home, nobody got floats.

Once we were home, we played a game of who can fall asleep quicker. Both of the boys lost. They weren’t tired.

So because they never took a nap … they ended up passing out around 7pm. Which was completely fine with me.

And that’s when my husband enjoyed our quiet date night. I sat in the rocking chair, my husband on the couch. We watched Super 8 on Netflix and ended up falling asleep while watching it. When I woke up, that’s when my husband and I fell back in love. I told him I loved him and that I was going to bed. He said I love you too.

When we woke up in the morning we decided we were going down to Wellington to see Nana. So we picked up the boys (from their bunk beds), carried them to the couch, and got them dressed so we could leave.

After we were done at Nana’s, we came home and raced each other to the bathrooms. Because we only have two bathrooms, and three of us are potty-trained, that left one of us doing the pee pee dance in the living room. Introducing: Dance-athon.

After settling in at home, the boys were ready for their naps. And that’s when I sat down on the couch and thanked the Lord that my stinkers were asleep so I could enjoy my cup of coffee – that was now cold.

I signed onto Facebook to see what all my friends were doing and most were talking about how glorious their weekend was for the world to "like".

I clicked "like". Even though deep down I knew their weekend was just as shitty as mine was. But evidently it’s a competition.

Another friend of mine wrote: "My husband just remodeled my entire bathroom. Thank you honey. It is the most beautiful bathroom I’ve ever seen." (I dry-heaved).

I clicked "like. Even though deep down I know that she has already found at least three flaws in her husband’s work. But again, it’s a competition.

And because I didn’t want to be one-upped (because it’s a competition) … I uploaded the pictures from our most recent family trip. But only the ones I don’t look fat in. And only the ones where we’re all smiling and looking like a perfect family of four. I labeled the album: Happy Family Memories.

Even though I should have called it: I’m not a liar. I’m just good at selling my happiness and promoting it.

Then there was a thud. A really loud thud. I waited. And there it was: Screeeeeeaming.
I’d already warned them once to leave the other one alone if they’re sleeping. Big brother didn’t listen and so the little brother hit him on the side of the head with his baseball bat.

After some more apologizing, we all put our clothes on and went outside to play to get some of the wiggles and naughtiness out of us. It hadn’t been 5 minutes when somebody stepped in a steaming pile of dog shit and then somebody else got mad because I couldn’t stay outside any longer (because I had to go clean dog shit off of shoes and off of his pants).

I can keep going if you want. But I’m pretty sure you get the idea.

Instead of pretending that all is right in the world, let’s face it. Life sucks sometimes. A LOT of times if you have kids. Sure there are times that are great and we should celebrate and rejoice. Sure our kids are awesome and do really cool things and we deserve to scream it on top of the rooftops to brag a little bit. But the lie by omission crap gets old.

My life on Facebook is an Instragrammed image of what my life really is. I edit the sucky days and most of the time I just want people to think I have my shit together.
I know I am a decent Mom. But my toddler is a typical 2-year-old who can’t sit still and gets into everything. I was spoiled by my oldest being completely kick ass and now I’m paying for it. My kids do live a pretty awesome life because I give it to them.

Keeping up with my friend’s status updates is exhausting though. Confession: I only scroll a page down (if that much). Otherwise I see updates turning friends into frenemies.

I am writing this post to apologize. I am completely guilty of those Facebook statuses I’ve mentioned above on more than one occasion. Here’s the deal … parts of my weekends do suck. And I’m going to go out on a limb here and say parts of your weekend suck as well. And I’m here to tell you: I get it.

And those are the statuses that I love to read the most. We are all blessed to be alive. Everyone knows and agrees on that.

But when you tell me how shitty your weekend was/is – You’re going to get my honest "like" on your status. Because then that tells me that you’re a real person. A mom who is just like me. One who doesn’t have to lie by omission. One who doesn’t have to write a shiny happy status to make you look like you have the most perfect life. You don’t. And I definitely don’t either.

So tell me about your shitty day …. At least make me feel like I don’t have it so bad….

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Disclaimer: This post is brought to you by the letter "F". I am behind (and procrastinating) in my A-to-Z Challenge but slowly catching myself back up. Please keep stopping by. I’ll have more for you throughout the day. I still have a household to run, y’know?! ;)
If you are participating, please let me know so I can check your website out as well! Thanks for reading!

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