Monday, June 3, 2013

Sometimes Love is Half a Piece of Gum

Sometimes love is a dozen roses or a gift that came from the heart or from a wish list. Love to me, however, is my husband breaking his piece of gum in half and giving me the bigger half. Love to me is my husband emptying the dishwasher early in the morning before he leaves for work. so that it's a surprise when I wake up. Or sometimes it's just a note left on the counter with nothing more than a "Have a good day".

I call it fate that I met you. I became your friend because I wanted to. But falling head over heels in love with you … was beyond my control.

Through the past 12 years we’ve been together, you have wiped my tears, squeezed my hand in reassurance, picked me up when I didn’t think I could stand any more, calmed me down when I saw red, and made me smile when there was no reason. I can hardly remember what it’s like to not have you in my life. Nor can I imagine not having you in my life.

Once upon I time, I thought I knew what love was. And then I met you. Every lesson that I’ve learned and every dream that I’ve had of you - before I knew who you were - has brought me to this moment where I can barely keep my eyes dry long enough for me to get to the next sentence. I wish everyone could experience just half, or even a quarter of the love we share. No doubt, the world would be a much better place. Sometimes I think people think that "love" is a feeling instead of an action. And that's unfortunate.

We’ve battled and had tribulations. We struggled to learn how to be married. We learned to grow up and quit being selfish. We struggled to communicate – and occasionally still do. We’ve struggled more in our marriage than most couples do in a lifetime. It would’ve been so easy to give up. But thank you for not. Thank you for loving me enough to know that we could change. We are stronger now than we've ever been.

I’m forever grateful for second chances and new beginnings. I cannot say this enough. Thank you for letting the past go. Thank you for forgiving me when you should've walked out the door.

Thank you for letting me be me. For never holding the reigns too tight and for allowing me to grow up.

Thank you for loving me when I haven’t been kind and when my tongue was quicker than my heart.

Thank you for your patience. I am definitely a work in progress. Thank you for loving my imperfections and loving me unconditionally.

Thank you for loving me when I’m selfish. When I’ve received your love and not returned it. Sometimes I want to sit back and just let love happen – and then you remind me that it’s a journey, and it takes two.

Thank you for Cassius and for Christopher. They are incredible and they are perfect. They are you and they are me. Even if I said thank you every day for the rest of my life … I could never fully express how grateful and how blessed I am that you gave me the gift of being a mommy to those two amazing little boys. Between you and God ... I can never repay you.

You have always been my biggest fan and my toughest critic. You tell me when I rock and you tell me when to stop. I will always need that. And I trust that you won’t ever give up on me.
You’ve pushed me out of my comfort zone and encouraged me to try things I never would have tried before – and I’ve always ended up loving every one of those things. I can now say that the roller coasters that go upside down, are my absolute favorites.

Seven years ago, I promised to love you in good times and in bad. When you’re at your best and at your worst. I promised to have you and hold you until we take our last breath. I promised then … and I promise today.

Thank you for not giving up on me and our marriage even though you probably should have.

Thank you for your patience, your forgiveness, your strength, and most of all … for always being my best friend.

Seven years ago I said "I do" … and I still do.

Happy 7th Anniversary, Cale.

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