Tuesday, December 24, 2013

I Made my 6-year-old Eat Soap

And I’m not afraid to admit it!

My husband and I are pretty cautious when it comes to using foul language around ANY body. Some people think we’re old school, I prefer to think that we have high-morals. Regardless … it’s just the right thing to do. Don’t get me wrong, I have the mouth of a sailor. But never around children. Mainly when I’m driving – sans my children.

So you can see how it can come to a shock that our six-year-old has been using some language that we find very inappropriate but I’ll get to that in a minute. In our home, we’ve never said "fart". It’s always been toot. And no I don’t think "fart" is a bad word. It’s just a word I don’t like. And I don’t like hearing it … figuratively and literally. But they’re boys. My boys definitely have their fair share of toots. And we definitely giggle a lot about it.

No I’m not going to make my six-year-old eat soap over saying the word "fart". He’s actually never said this word. What I AM going to be upset at is when my (learning to read) six-year-old is sitting in the backseat sounding out words and I hear a "Fff – uhhh --- ckk". I immediately. IMMEDIATELY. stopped the car. Dead halt! I don’t care that the cars behind me were disgruntled. This needed addressed. A-SAP.

My 6-year-old just said THE word. The big one. The queen-mother of dirty words. The "F-dash-dash-dash" word. (hey … I had to throw that in there. It was just so inappropriately appropriate for the season).

Me: What did you just say?
Cash: I was reading.

Me: What were you reading?
Cash: This cup.
Me: What does it say?
Cash: I forgot.

Me: What letter does it start with.
Cash: I can’t remember.

Me = Growing increasing impatient and mad. I can’t stand stallers. Speak up. Don’t lie. Don’t beat around the bush. Get to it! NOW!

Me: Let me have the cup.

Me = Looking at the cup. Looking at why this fast food place would put a word similar to that word on their cups. I find nothing.

Me: Cassius Milo, show me what you were reading. Point to it.
Cash: I was looking at this.
Me: This says LMG Inc. There is no letter f, which you KNOW the sound of. There is no letter u, which you know the sound of. And there are no c’s or even k’s, which you DEFINITELY know the sounds of. Why did you say that word??
Cash: I don’t know. I forgot what those letters sounded like.
Me: When we get home, you’re putting soap on your toothbrush.

Cash {crying}: Noooo Mommy. Please nooo. I won’t ever say that again!!
Me: I know you won’t say that word again because I am going to wash it out of your mouth!
Cash {blubbering}: But Mommy, I didn’t know that’s what I was saying.

Me = I’m not one of those parents that constantly thinks, "my child would never do that". But I struck gold with my oldest. He’s a really good boy. He has a sensitive heart, lots of GOOD friends, and steers clear of the naughty ones. I never have to worry about him. So when he tells me that he didn’t know that’s what he way saying, a part of me believes him. He may have just been putting two syllables together.

So I gave him a scare … and I gave him the benefit of the doubt.
I told him he needs to be careful with what he’s reading and saying out loud. There are people out there that write and say very naughty and yucky things (*ahem* Bathroom stall artists) and he needs to make sure that what he’s saying, isn’t something that is filthy and naughty. And it’s Mommy and Daddy’s job to make sure he understands that those words are NOT meant to repeat. But there will never be a second chance. EVER.

I’m pretty sure I got the point across.

Or so I thought.

This morning had been a great morning. It’s Christmas Eve. Elfie left all of us new PJ’s and a book to read before bedtime tonight. And Mommy let the boys play a Lego game for 20 minutes longer than usual. It’s just been a really good morning. Until an hour ago…

Cash: Oh my gosh. This is crazy. I’m going to fall off.
Chris: Nooooo. I’ll save you!!
Cash: I don’t think you can, Chris. I’m falling.

Cash = falls off the platform on the game.
Cash: Well that sucks!

I know "sucks" isn’t that bad of a word. But it’s the filth-equivalent, in my opinion, of using the word dammit.
Sucks IS a bad word when you hear it coming out of your 6-year-old’s mouth. It’s disgusting. It sucks! {Too soon?}

Cash knew right then that he said something bad. He turned to me and said, "I’m sorry!!"

Me: I understand that you’re sorry. But that is two days in a row that something yucky has spewed out of your mouth. Come with me.
Cash {covering his mouth with his hand}: Please don’t make me eat soap, Mommy. Pleeeease!
Me: I don’t have another choice son. Your mouth is dirty.
Cash: I’ll brush my teeth. Maybe that’ll help?!
Me: I’m sorry bud … brushing your teeth makes your teeth clean and your breath fresher. But only soap will get the dirtiness all out of your mouth!
Cash {cupping his mouth again}: I’ll never ever ever say it again. Please no mommy.

Me = unwrapping a fresh bar of soap.

Me: Put this in your mouth and hold it for 10 seconds.
Cash {Cupping his mouth and crying} {shaking his head no} {killing me with his soggy puppy dog eyes}
Me: When I accidentally said a bad word, my Mommy and Daddy smacked me on the face. Do you want me to smack the dirt off? Or do you want me to wash it out of your mouth? YOU make the decision.

I know, I know. It sounds harsh, right? But those of you thinking that what I did is harsh are probably also the ones questioning what’s wrong with today’s youth. There are no consequences with children’s actions anymore.

My son WILL NOT be disrespectful to anybody EVER. Not as long as I’m alive anyway. And if you ever happen encounter either of my children, you’ll thank me for raising them right. I promise. And if you’re my son’s future wife, you’ll thank me for being their mother. I promise you that too. But that’s another blog.


Me: Lick this bar of soap and get that word off of your tongue. THREE… TWOOO…
Cash {Sticks out his tongue and licks the soap wile I count to five}
Me: Now open up. Let me make sure it’s gone. Say I’m sorry and that you’ll never say a bad word again.
Cash: {hugging me very tightly} I’m sorry Mommy. I am soooo sorry. I won’t ever say those kinds of words again!

Before you go off on your tangent about child abuse and mental abuse and how there are other ways to deal with this sort of behavior … you need to stop. I’m not going to judge you for the way you raise your children. We’re all experts at parenting. But if having my son lick a bar of soap for five seconds makes him think again before he says another bad word … then I’d do it all over again.

Edited to add: I'm not bragging.  I received an email saying it sounded like I am bragging about making my child eat soap.  There is a difference between bragging and blogging.  I have an opinion - I state it.  I am completely EMBARASSED that my son has said a few bad words recently but I also know that over time, it too will pass. And that I can't give up on him. Because if I give up on him, it states that I'm ok with his new vocabulary of words. And I'm not. And never will be.

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