Wednesday, September 3, 2014

No. I don't want a Girl

Call it mother’s instinct or a lucky guess.  I knew the second I found out I was pregnant that I was having a boy – both times.

God has the best sense of humor.  Before I was pregnant, I wanted a dance squad of little girls twirling around my house in their frilly tutu’s and pigtails.  I even bought an adorable little overall outfit for my first-born [daughter] before I was even married.
Can you say “cray cray”?!

But the day I found out I was pregnant (both times), something inside of me (ahem … a baby boy maybe?), made me desperately want a son.  There was just something about having a mama’s boy.  Something about my husband being able to share his love of all things nerdy with a toe-headed little mini that made me swoon.  Something about having a child that would some day be taller than me made my heart pitter-patter.

Let me be VERY clear: neither my husband nor I had a preference for our first-born. We wanted one thing, and one thing only… a healthy baby. And we were blessed with not one, but, two healthy babies. Two healthy, beautiful baby boys.

And as soon as the first little dude popped into this world, a close friend sent me a text that simply read, “Welcome to the boy mom club!”  Little did I know, this club would actually exist.  Little did I know that I would be calling that mom at 3 in the morning asking her questions like, his “thing” has been “straight up” for the past five hours! Is this f’king normal?!??

Y’all … I came from an only child household.  I have a brother and a sister but by the time I was born, they had already moved out.  I came into this boy mom journey with no prior knowledge. No prior knowledge of how often they would "grab" themselves.  No prior knowledge of how many times I would be given a dead bug as a gift.  No prior knowledge of how loud my house would be at 7:30 at night.  No prior knowledge how slipping one tiny little toot would become the best laugh of the day.  No prior knowledge how many times they can wrestle, get hurt, bleed, and then get back up for more.
You get the gist.

I was once asked why I carried two fully stocked first aid kits in my car.  And then they met my boys.
And then they ask that question.
The question I get asked every other day from somebody new…

So when are you having a girl?

And I smile.  I smile sweetly and in the most polite voice, I say, “God made me a mom to two beautiful healthy boys. He knew what he was doing when he stopped at just those two.”
Sure there are days when I want to completely lose my shit on the next person that pities me for not having a girl.

I know I’ll never get to have a tea party or play with Barbie’s again.  I know I won’t have somebody to shop with and help her pick out her prom dress.
I also know I won’t always have the answers to my boys’ questions.  Specifically the ones about body parts that I don’t have.  And I’m okay with all of that.

Having boys has given me the opportunity to look at them as individuals. My boys are 
completely opposite, yet identical.  They are both exactly like their Daddy.  Which is okay with me.  The things I can’t stand about my husband are also the things I love about him.

The oldest is all about superheroes and Legos and nerdy things.  The youngest loves cars and tools and sports and being silly.
They are their own little personalities.  They’re not just “a boy”.  By having these two dudes in my home, I am complete.  My family is complete.  I don’t need a daughter for my family to be whole.

My boys are challenging.  They’re always an adventure.  They’re spontaneous and rough. They’re the funniest little beings I’ve ever met.

Sure I’m a basketcase 5 out of the 7 days.
But I wouldn’t trade the goodnight kisses …
Or the tiny little hands around my neck …
Or the sweat on my lips when I kiss his forehead after practice …
Or the heart palpitations when I hear a thud from across the house …
Or the mud stains on the couch from dirty cleats …
Or the Spiderman underwear on the front seat of my car …
Or the pain I feel when I step on a Lego in the middle of the night ..
I wouldn’t trade any of that for a girl.
Okay … maybe that last one about the Lego.  But you get it.

When I’m doing my daily rounds of toilet cleaning and stain fighting … I thank God for these little men that He is trusting me to raise.

Or at least for knowing that my husband would suffer from a stroke if he saw “3 little slits” on the sonogram instead of a penis.

Don't get me wrong … I LOOOOOOVE my nieces and my adopted daughters and my future little daughter-in-laws. But I am soooo glad it's you that has them. I just like borrowing them from time to time ;-)

So the next time you think about asking a mom of all boys when she's going to pop out a girl … zip your lips.  Because you just might be the person that she loses her shit on.

Peace, Love, and Soccer balls...

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